Jacob's
Ladder. . .
News is out Armageddon is upon us and
it is time for all of us to go
The worlds armies have all gathered
and they are putting on a show
Everyone checks their D.N.A - so they
know just where they stand
Before packing all their worthy goods
and off to the Promised Land
After centuries of rejection everyone
shows their claim of being a Jew
Even a whole bunch of Aborigines who
just nobody even had a clue
We took every boat, plane, train,
bus, car and pushbike to get there
Even the Muslims rushed so much they
didn’t even stop for prayer
Palestine was the hot spot while
looking for some guy called Jesus
Some found a guy called Moses and we
thought that was a bonus
Every ladder found propped up then was
looked upon in special awe
But “God” was having a moment because
he knew the bloody score
He had divided us all over across
North - South - East and West
Each and every one of us was exiled
out and then sent on a test
Now each and every one was back here
again at his Holy’s request
All lined up to see which one’s of us
was going to be flippin’ blessed
The Jew boys’ butts were flapping -
they just would not give it a rest
First in line as God’s chosen
children they forever continued to stress
The rest of us just stood there with
D.N.A forms and worthy goods in hand
While an Angel stood at each rung of
the Jacobs ladder - their job to man
Inspecting each and every one of us
to see if we would make the grade
Bribery of course was acceptable if
enough to each Angel could be paid
Compassion was even allowed here as
we all stopped for a cup of tea
So the Angels could off load their
booty and have themselves a pee
Rungs unmanned - a few got in that
shouldn’t have been there at all
Saddam Hussein’s nephew just got in
with a “Phew” that was a close call
The blind & the lame stood on the
side lines thinking they didn’t have a chance
But the Angels stopped the rest of us
in the queue and let them all advance
Twelve days and 7 hours in all it
took for the maddening crowd to die down
Till all that was left standing was a
boy called Sue and that Clooney the clown
Jacobs’s ladder was then carefully
hoisted up and was never to be again seen
No one was left except the char lady
- who was still busy cleaning the canteen
“Oh” and that other bloke who started
all of this - goes by the name of Jacob
Seems he left not long after we all
arrived to have a few slices of illicit bacon
“Well” - if there was ever a earth in
Heaven - we were about to have our day
It was so crammed packed up there
even Jesus didn’t have anywhere to stay
The queue at immigration - it was
worse than if we had been back at home
The ledgers were so overworked - at
the mouth they had all started to foam
The Jew boys had all the best villa’s
and had already set up their vendor stalls
The rest of us were just stuck in no
man’s land and none of us were having a ball
And just as on earth - when the money
ran out each of us were shown the door
“Gawd” - I really would not have
bothered at all if I had really known the score
“But” hey - the free fall flight back
down again was nothing short of amazing
Time I got home every bone and muscle
in my broken body was truly aching
Armageddon wasn’t really so bad -
given it was Israel they blew apart
And I am off shopping down at the now
unmanned local super - mart
Indiana Shaw . . . ; )
