MY CAMEL AND ME . . .

Me and the camel decided to see who had the greatest amount of humps . . .

The camel jumped up crazed in the pub - started to then strut his stuff . . . .

Everyone lined up at the bar - so they could sup while marking the grades . . .

And just in case the camel let free - in the corner was one almighty spade . . .

You could but not admire the camel with his two huge humps side by side . . .

But with all of his swagger and all of his salver - “Oi” you - all the gals cried . . .

After this farce of a parade - sat on the vicar’s lap all sweaty and flustered . . .  

What seemed to me an attitude he was cool winner - all done and dusted . . .

All eyes in the pub turned on me - sat in the corner “Doon” in the dumps . . .

All waiting to see if I could beat the camel by rustling up any more humps . . .

Well this morning when I opened the door - the rain did nothing but pee . . .

No buses - and by the time I got to work - the water was up to me knees . . .

And a notice on the door - closed due to floods - a total major hump to me . . .

The markers at the bar - now liberated - all nodded their heads - we agree . . .

Time I had swam home - the cat had drowned - and my fridge was all at sea . . .

The markers scribbled - all nodding their heads - again we all have to agree . . .

The camel all remorseful by this was beginning to hang its head in shame . . .  

Anymore of this he remarked - then surely - I am going to lose this game . . .

Me and my camel - we stood side by side - at the present both at a draw . . .

One more major hump - and I’ll have beaten the camel by just one more . . .

All the markers at the bar - all took a breather - as I trailed off to the loo . . .

Sat for a shat - slipped on the tiles - returned indignant all covered in poo . . .

It didn’t take much to see - the ‘ere markers at the bar scribbling like mad . . .

With an up roar from the rest of the pub members - that I had it in the bag . . .  

The camel now disgraced - got off the vicar’s lap - and let one go in his haste . . .

All jumped up - and all too soon - we were all knee high in the camels waste . . .

The markers at the bar - didn’t know where to start - as we all got the hump . . .

The camel did a runner - nowhere to be seen - the rest of us all in the dumps . . .

It is fair to say - that just on this day - the camel looked fair to be the winner . . .

But when it comes to life’s major humps - the camel was only a mere beginner . . . ; ) 

Indiana Shaw . . .  : )