Quassi; me old mucker, just how did you come into this world, with
such an ugly face
Just; then to be dumped by the gypsies who took Esme the good
looker in your place
Poor old Esme’s mother, who took just one look at Quassi, fell into
despair and fled
And; thought dear little Agnes was more than dead, and, as a meal
to the gypsies fed
Poor old Quassi; was for some strange reason, exorcized before been
sent on to Paris
In fear of the kin folk left behind; who they thought if he
remained, could embarrass
Frollo; the lustful adopted Quassi, on account he was only 5ft, but;
was full of muscle
As: sent poor old Quassi on a mission to see if the good looker,
Esme he could hustle
Quassi who had not excised for a while; failed in his job to some tosser
called Phoebus
Thus; ended up returning empty handed, and, now up for kidnapping,
was full of cuss
Poor old Quassi; was sentenced to a day in the pillory, whilst spat
at, and, then mocked
It was dear Esme who showed him pity and gave Quassi some water,
then was shocked,
When he in turn; asked to kiss her hand, course Quassi had falling
quite madly in love
But; Quassi’s handsome good looks kinda of repulsed Esme, so she
gave him the shove
As bringing curses; by whom it was yet to known, Esme’s very own,
long lost mother
Who in turn thought her long lost daughter Agnes has been stolen
& eaten by others
Later on in the game Esme saw the old Captain Phoebus and his
fiancée Fleur - de - lys
With his piece of posh fluff; he wanted to marry, whist Esme, as,
just someone to kiss
Esme took real offence on hearing this news; and, was just about to
get up and leave
When didn’t Phoebus played his ace of a card hurt face and Esme returned
to please
But little did they both know they were being spied on by, I do not
give up cad Frollo
Who in a fit of jealous rage stabbed the old Captain Phoebus in the
rumpus to follow
Dear poor Esme; on the mere sight of blood; ended up on the floor, after
she fainted
Didn’t know that; as it so didn’t happen, the murder of Phoebus she would be tainted
Her delicate little dancing foot; was then threated, as to be put
in the crushing device
Aiding her to confess to something, which even to her, she knew was,
not quite right
Even her most weirdest best friend of a goat was used as a witness against
her in court
Though we know; that after a few bags of rolled oats; the darn goat,
had been bought
Guess who turns up; but, Frollo the lustful who offers Esme, it is me,
or, the rope card
Esme angry with Frollo; even more so with me as a poet, yells “Out,
you’re both bard”
Quassi seizes his chance; as he sees the ever so swinging lynch rope,
start to get nearer
Takes Esme into Notre Dame; crying sanctuary, like we couldn’t hear
him any clearer
As nobody had any idea of what to do then, it was thought best,
just let them both be
As Quassi got to know Esme; and, Esme got to know Quassi, all over
a nice cup of tea
Esme, at last, gives in and gave Quassi a kiss and in polite return he
gave Esme his grizzle
Sorry; my mistake there; due to bad candle lighting, that was meant
to say, his whistle!
That; should she in time of need, whilst he is away, all she had to
was give it a little blow
Flippin’ ‘eck; this poem goes from bad to worse the further along
with it, it seems to go
So . . .
Of the whistle it was just as well; as Frollo the lustful, decides to
make a call on dear Esme
Thinks; Esme it is that darn old git Frollo the lustful again, he
is trying to overwhelm me
Grabbing the whistle; that we are best Bessie mates, Quassi had gave
her, she starts to blow
And with only seconds to spare of losing her knickers; didn’t poor Quassi,
make his show
And in the darkness, he gave old Frollo the lustfull, a pretty good
bashing, by all accounts
But; as the moon shone onto Frollo the lustful face; Quassi saw who
it was and dismounts
His poor old dad; who had adopted him from his very own foundling
bed at Notre Dame
Frollo; who is angered by it all shouts “If I can’t have you, nobody
can” and left in shame
Frollo; the now not so lustful, went off alone to fulfill his evil
claim, to kill Esme his aim
Using Pierre Gringoire; who Esme had saved from death and, had
married, all but in name
Gringoire thought he knew the score; he called in the gypsies and tried
to save Esme’s life
But; poor old Quassie did not know any of this, and, there ended up in
one hella’ of a fight
King Louis XI had got wind of this; and, said “This has to stop” and
ordered in the soldiers
To stop the rioting & for the fun of it; Phoebus was fighting
alongside shoulder to shoulder
In the fray, Esme takes leave; and is about to run from Notre dame
when met by two men
One is cloaked and the other is her husband in all but name
Gringoire which both pretend
To offer Esme safe passage out via the river Seine, as faints hearing
her death chants thrown
As again; she awakens from this deathly pose & who other than
Frollo she is with all alone
Who now must be thinking third time lucky, asked Esme once again
is’t me or is’t the rope
Which; Esme despite her fear said; “Look ‘ere sunshine, you just do
not have a flippin’ hope”
What could have been worse than bumping into your mother just as
you’ve hit the gallow
When didn’t the old bat get smacked in the head by someone who
threw a rotten marrow
Meanwhile; poor old Quassie was running round in circles, trying to
find the one he loved
As; poor dear Esme who was still swinging in her death throws from,
the gallows up above
Indiana Shaw . . .
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